Interiors: its clear I’m not Scandinavian

ENGLISH BELOW

Text and photos: MP

Other photos: airbnb weird photo guy

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Por más que intente e intente perseguir una estética de persona civilizada, no lo estoy logrando. Desde que me mudé a Europa que soñaba con tener una casa que persiga un estilo definido. La verdad que no entendía nada de estilos, y todavía era virgen de IKEA (o sea, no había pisado mi primer tienda), entonces desconocía. Lo único que sabía por seguro es que jamás me iba a someter a la dictadura del Shabby Chic que aterrorizaba los cafés Argentinos.

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Esta es una de mis sillas y una de mis lámparas nuevas, para cuando me pinta interrogar gente

Esta semana mirando instagram con la boca abierta (por que no me van a decir, que cuando   están perdiendo tiempo en instagram no están con la boca abierta), mientras buscaba una lámpara para mi cocina, que combinara con mis nuevas sillas de la Bauhaus que mostraré a continuación junto con mis lámparas también Bauhaus, noté que muchos #interiorinspo tenían un libro llamado KINFOLK en sus mesitas de café. Y me dio curiosidad. Ya sé que la mayoría de ustedes saben lo que es KINFOLK, pero yo desconocía y se abrió un mundo nuevo: por fin entendí por qué están todos viviendo como si fueran amish.

Cuestión que, yo no puedo ser escandinava. Traté de hacer las tostadas con palta y ponerlas sobre una tabla de madera impoluta. Enchastré la tabla y se me escapó la tostada de la mano. Intenté, que mis espacios fueran más prolijos, limpios de adornos excesivos. Fallé nuevamente. Los espacios vacíos me dan pánico, y let’s face it: vivo en un departamento alquilado, que tiene piso flotante, nada de amish en eso. Tampoco tengo ganas de gastarme todo en una alfombra marroquí Beni Ourain, y la verdad que ver sillas Eames me saturó tanto que antes de poner el culo en una de esas, prefiero sentarme arriba de un cactus.

Una vez intenté hacer que mi casa pareciera de Pinterest, por que tenía que sacarle fotos para airbnb, y este fue el resultado:

Screen Shot 2016-03-25 at 12.04.58 PM.png

Entonces me decidí por otra estética: me enamoré de los muebles funcionales inspirados en la bauhaus, me amigué con el amor de mi vida, el acrílico transparente y compré dos estanterías de acrílico de los 60s, y una silla Marie de Philipp Starck para Kartell  , decidí sacar toda la parafernalia de María Paula de las cajas, y dejarlo ser. Todo bien con vos KINFOLK, todo bien con tu concepto de “simplificar la vida”. Pero no estás simplificando nada. El tiempo de puesta en escena que supone uno de esos brunches absolutamente instagrameables es irrisorio, y lo que cuesta mantener el espacio libre… ni hablar. Como hacen con sus cosas? no trabajan? no viven? alquilan un depósito? Por mi parte, you might as well burn in hell.

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English:

As much as I try and try to chase a civilized person’s sense of aesthetics, I am not being quite successful. Ever since I moved to Europe, I dreamed of having one of those homes all in one style, most precisely, Scandinavian. To be honest, I did not understand anything about interior design, and I was still an IKEA virgin (unbelievable, right?). What I did know for sure, is that I would have never ended up under the Shabby Chic dictatorship that terrorized the Cafés from Buenos Aires.

This past week found me scrolling down Instagram with my mouth opened (because when one is procrastinating while scrolling down, you have to have your mouth opened). I was looking for a lamp for my kitchen that would match my new red Bauhaus designed chairs and my new lamps. And then, it happened: I noticed that many #interiorinspo showed a book named KINFOLK over coffee tables, trays carefully posed in beds with coffee and a single croissant (who the fuck has only one croissant for breakfast? I need at least 3!). And then I got curious. I know most of you know what KINFOLK is, but I didn’t and then, when I googled, a whole world opened to my eyes: I finally understood why everyone on Instagram are living as if they were freaking Amish.

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This is one of my lamps and one of my chairs. very handy for when I need to question people.

Thing is, I can’t be Scandinavian. Or a minimalist. I tried to make my avocado toasts and place them strategically over a rustic wooden board. I failed. The board was smothered in green ago and the toast flew from my hand to the floor.

I tried, to make my spaces more tidy, and get rid of excessive little things. And I failed once again. I panic over empty spaces and let’s face it: I live in a rented flat, that has a fake wooden floor and there is nothing amish about that. I also really don’t feel like splurging on a Beni Ouaraian rug and the mere sight of an Eames chair makes me so sick that I’d rather sit on a cactus than in one of those.

Once I tried to make my house look like Pinterest, cause I had to get photos taken for Airbnb, and this was the behind the scenes:

Screen Shot 2016-03-25 at 12.04.58 PM.png

 

Finally I decided to grow a personality of my own, and fell in love with the functional furniture inspired and designed in Bauhaus. I made peace with the love of my life, lucite, and bought two shelves from the 60s and a Marie by Philipp Starck for Kartell chair. I went on and took all my religious paraphernalia, books, and etcetera from the boxes, and let it be.

Its all good, KINFOLK, GOOP, and Pinterest. But the concept of simplifying one’s life is just making everything more complicated. The time to set that perfect scene that you see in those perfect instagram brunches is unthinkable, and what it takes to have your spaces free of stuff and flowing… i won’t even go into that. How do you manage your stuff? do you guys even work? or live? do you rent a deposit space? As far as I’m concerned, you might as well burn in hell.

Scroll up for the photos of my house, the day I tried to make it work for airbnb.

noshamejane

No shame in my game.

4 thoughts on “Interiors: its clear I’m not Scandinavian

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